Catch Me If I Fall
by Michelle Drake
Summary: When your greatest enemy is yourself and there seems like there is no one to turn to, who will catch you when you fall? M/A- NEW CHAPTER! (sequel to Forever Changed)
1. P r o l o g u e

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@hotmail.com

Author's Note: I *FINALLY* wrote my sequel to "Forever Changed". It isn't mandatory that you read "Forever Changed" because the first part of the chapter kind of explains what happened, but it will ruin the ending of "Forever Changed", so it's your choice (but if I were you I'd read it) :) This fanfic is much more M/A shippery than the first one. It starts out only midly shippy, but never fear- it will be shippery- just you wait :) Also, this is my little angst-filled, twisted, alternate-universe . . . even more so then most of my previous work. The first part of this chapter is just for the sake of refreshing everyone's memories as to what happened in the first fic "Forever Changed" and explaining how Max and Alec have dealt with everything. I tried to summarize as best as I could without completely saying what happened because I will go into all of that much more in the other chapters. That first section isn't very well written, but once you get father into the fic it gets much better :) I promise!

Author's Note 2: Have you joined yet? The Writers Connection, http://thewritersconnection.cjb.net Share your work, chat with other writers, and get advanced sections of CMIIF :)

Dedication: Dedicated to all those at The Writers Connection, especially Blaze and Drea Jackman. You guys really helped me with this fanfic, and your words of praise certainly helped me get this thing finished (despite that virtual motivation stick . . . please stop poking me . . . cuz' look, I'm done!). You two really made my day many, many times! Also dedicated to Teri Xenite for also being a great sounding board :)

Spoilers: My fanfic "Forever Changed"

Summary: When your greatest enemy is yourself and there seems like there is no one to turn to, who will catch you when you fall? M/A

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: Please review . . . it's seriously what keeps me going . . . so if you want more tell me :) You hated it? Tell me! You're not sure about it yet? Say so! You loved it? Then for the love of the blue lady tell me :) so go . . . read and review :)

Disclaimer: Fox don't want em' so now they are MINE!

. . .

. . .C a t c h M e I f I F a l l. . .

by Michelle Drake

. . .

P r o l o g u e

That one disastrous moment happened almost one year ago. With that one single gunshot, things were changed forever. After the initial shock, things seemed to begin to painstakingly go back to normal, or as normal as things were before everything fell apart. One thing was for certain though, Max and Alec were not he same people that they were before everything had happened. On the outside things seemed to remain unchanged, but for each of them, life was never the same again, and each of them would never be the same again.

That small little spark of Max's, that only those who really knew her could see, was now little more than a flicker. She was different now in so many ways, but she hid it form the world easily. She hid the hurt, the pain, the sadness that was buried deep in her heart. She pretended to be happy, faking her smiles. She was too afraid to let it all out and admit how much she hurt- even to herself. No one could see the change in her, except for Alec. He noticed the small little glimpses of pain in her eyes that she would momentarily forget to hide, and he saw the way she would tense up whenever someone would mention Logan or the mysterious disappearance of the underground, cyber-journalist, Eyes Only.

For Alec it was a completely different story. He couldn't hide from everything as easily as Max could. After everything has happened he had to look after Max- not just for her sake, but for the sake of his own sanity. The responsibility that he felt for everything tore at his heart and soul. He couldn't pretend not to care like he used to, no matter how much he wanted to hide it. Hiding it would be the easy way to live, escaping from everything, like nothing had happened. He didn't feel like he deserved the easy way out. He needed to suffer, needed to pay, needed to give up everything for what he did. He knew that he hadn't been the one who had pulled the trigger, but he could've stopped it, and he failed.

The changes that had happened between Max and Alec ran even deeper than even they could explain. They both seemed to have this unbreakable connection that hadn't been there before everything had fallen apart. It was a strange sort of unspeakable pact that bonded them together. Neither of them acknowledged it, but at the same time they weren't just ignoring it either. It didn't need to be said, they both knew it was there . . .

. . .

Author's Note: I know it was short, but please review, it keeps me going. What did you think? Want more? Because there is more . . . so much more :) Chapter one will be posted this weekend or early next week :) 

catch.me.if.i.fall.by.Michelle.Drake©

gypsychic04@hotmail.com

http://thewritersconnection.cjb.net


	2. C h a p t e r O n e

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@hotmail.com

Author's Note: I wanted to thank all those that reviewed. Here's chapter one :) Max is a little out of character . . . but that won't be the case the whole story. But right now she's still hurting from Logan's death. I don't have a teaser for this chapter . . . but if you e-mail me gysychic04@hotmail.com I'll see if I can get you some spoilers :)

Author's Note 2: Have you joined yet? The Writers Connection, http://thewritersconnection.cjb.net Share your work, chat with other writers, and get feedback

Dedication: Dedicated to all those at The Writers Connection!

Rating: PG-13

Feedback: I live off reviews and feedback . . . it seriously keeps me going :) It takes only a minute and it makes my day! Always feel free to e-mail me at gypsychic04@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer: Fox don't want em' so now they are MINE!

. . .

. . .C a t c h M e I f I F a l l. . .

by Michelle Drake

. . .

C h a p t e r O n e

Alec walked into the tiny, run down apartment that he and Max shared, and stood there, leaning against the doorway watching Max quietly. She was silently curled up on the beat-up couch reading a book. From where he was standing she looked like she was okay, like there was nothing haunting her mind, but he knew if he looked closer the pain in her eyes would be visible. The minute she'd see him she'd cover up her sadness, pretending everything was okay. Just like she always did. She didn't want anyone, especially Alec to see the turmoil and her masked emotions, but he could see right through it. Alec sometimes wished that he too could pretend like everything was okay, but he knew he would never be able to hide from everything the way Max did. He hated the way she hid her emotions so easily, letting everything eat away at her heart- the way he used to. He knew that the longer she kept everything trapped inside that it would only be a matter of time until she fell apart. It wasn't healthy for her to pretend that she was happy. He hadn't seen her smile a real, genuine smile for what seemed forever.

Max looked up at Alec with her large, dark eyes, which throughout the year had lost the sparkle that had once prevailed. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked, catching him off guard, still deep in his thoughts.

"A while," he answered simply as he walked over to the couch where she was. He sat down and flicked on the television.

They sat together on the couch, both not saying a word or touching. It was the way they sat together every night. Words meant nothing to each of them, it was just being there next to each other, and taking comforting in the fact that they were sitting together. They were all that each other really had left.

Alec flipped through the channels not finding anything worth watching. Suddenly the programming changed to static.

"This is a streaming freedom video. This cable hack will last exactly sixty seconds . . . "

Max froze, not quite believing her eyes. It couldn't be . . . there was no way- but there it was on the television. Those same eyes that seemed to haunt her every thought were staring at her through the television.

"No-" she managed to utter, still overcome by emotion. He was dead- gone. She saw him die- he died in her arms. She blinked, trying to see if it were just her imagination.

" . . . It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped, it is the only free voice left in the city . . . "

Max felt sick to her stomach. There was no way that this was happening, it couldn't be happening. The glass of water she was drinking slipped out of her hands as she sat staring at the television, falling with a loud crash to the floor along with the book she was reading.

"Max . . . Max . . . " said Eyes Only over the television.

"No, no-" she managed to whisper barely audible, her hands trembling.

"Max? Max, are you okay? Max?" asked Alec gently shaking Max's shoulder.

Max looked at him, her eyes filled with pain, and then back at the television. The cable hack was gone like it was never really there- was it ever there? Max looked back at Alec not being able to speak, still feeling sick to her stomach. It seemed so real- those eyes. They were the exact ones that haunted her in her sleep and every time she closed her eyes. It seemed so real . . .

"Max?" asked Alec worried. Max had been staring at the television with a look of horror mixed with pain that scared him to death. Alec hadn't seen that look in her eyes since the first months after Logan's death. Max turned to Alec again, then looked down at the shattered glass; the contents of it spilled on the book.

"No . . . " she said again, this time kneeling on the floor picking up the wet book, watching the ink on the paper run, like the tears that she had been trying to hold back. _"Forever Eyes. Dark. Somebody's Angel." _ The handwriting was still slightly readable, but not by much.

Alec tried to help Max soak up the water on the page but she pushed him away.

"Alec, I don't need your help!" she spat, trying desperately to dry off the page. It was all she had left of Logan, and now it was ruined.

Alec knew why she was so upset. He had seen her reading the book on many sleepless nights. He knew how protective of it she was; how upset she got when she couldn't find it. He knew why she kept it. It was the same reason why he had kept Rachel's locket. Not because the locket was important to him, but because he didn't want to forget Rachel, hoping that maybe by keeping the locket he could keep a part of her still with him. He knew that Max was afraid to let Logan go, afraid that she might forget him; the man that died protecting her.

Alec snapped out of his thoughts and sat down on the floor next to Max, and put his arm around her. This time she didn't pull away, but drew closer. She finally let herself let out all of her tears. Tears that she hadn't cried for months.

"Max, you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

"The TV . . . it was . . . those eyes . . . " she didn't go on any more, she couldn't. She buried her face in his chest as he held her. She had told herself long ago that she wouldn't break down in front of him again. That she wouldn't breakdown again period. It couldn't be happening again . . . it just couldn't.

"I'm sorry Max," Alec whispered quietly, knowing that Max probably hadn't heard. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. He was responsible for what had happened. He was the reason that Max was crying; crying over a man who's death he could have prevented.

Alec and Max sat on the old floor of their apartment, still in each other's embrace long into the night until Max drifted into a troubled sleep. Alec gently lifted her off the floor and brought her to her room, noting how light she was. He knew that she wasn't eating as much as she used to. He made a mental note to make sure that he fed her more.

He gently lay her on the bed and covered her up with a blanket. He sat down next to her on the bed and watched her sleep. He wondered what it was that had made her so upset, but what he wondered more was how he could make it better. He leaned over her, and gently kissed the top of her head. 

"Good night Maxie," he whispered, as he got up and went to his own room.

. . .

catch.me.if.i.fall.by.michelle.drake

gypsychcic04@hotmail.com

http://thewritersconnection.cjb.net


	3. C h a p t e r T w o

Author: Michelle Drake   
  
Author's Note: I wanted to thank all those that reviewed and apologize to the slowness that is my updating . . . I don't even know how long it has been. Sorry :-) Enjoy . . . oh, and I promise the next update won't be as sad and depressing as this chapter is.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Feedback: I live off reviews and feedback or feel free to e-mail me  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
. . .  
  


. . .C a t c h M e I f I F a l l. . .  
  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .  
  
C h a p t e r T w o

  
  
Max went to sleep, knowing that she had to sometime. She had been so afraid of sleep and all that flooded her mind when the lights went out, that she only slept when she had to. Every time she finally let her self sleep she always dreamed. Sometimes it was a beautiful dream, a happy one that would paint a smile on her face until she woke up and realized it wasn't real. But most of the time it was a nightmare that would cause her to wake up crying silently, her knees to her chest as she curled up in a fetal position. The dreams always started out beautiful, comforting; however by the end they turned into a nightmare that she was always afraid she might one day never be able to wake up from.   
  
Her tired body tried its best to welcome sleep, but her fear kept her awake, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about nothing at all. She let her mind go blank; she found it was easier that way. That's when she saw a shadow move across the room. She sat up quickly and alert as a cat, as she scanned the room for intruders. There was nothing there. As she was about to lay back down she looked over towards the window finding a person standing there- but it wasn't just any person.   
  
Max tried to speak, but she couldn't find the words. Her throat tightened and tears sprang to her eyes in an overwhelming wave of relief. The person walked toward her and sat on the edge of the bed softly.  
  
Max . . . he whispered reaching out to touch her, leaving her skin tingling at the sensation.  
  
she barely breathed, not knowing where she found the words. You- I- but . . .   
  
Shhh . . . he said placing a finger on her lips, an all-knowing smile across his face. It's okay.  
  
No- but you- she said fighting back the tears, noticing that she was shaking, so afraid that it might just be a dream.  
  
None of that matters now. None of that matters anymore, he said soothingly as he pulled her into his arms where she instantly let herself break down into sobs.  
  
Max, baby- it's all right. He smoothed the back of her hair as she cried in his arms. You don't have to cry anymore. I promise.  
  
No, it's not all right . . . I'm not all right . . . she cried softly at the confession. She would never be okay again.  
  
I'm so sorry, he spoke quietly, his voice was full of regret of what Max had become. Tears came to his own eyes as he rocked her back and forth as one would do to a small child awaken by a bad dream.   
  
she asked. I don't understand how you can be . . . she managed to say.  
  
Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. He kissed the top of her head, and held her tighter. You don't have to cry anymore. He pulled away a little bit, so that he could look into her eyes. You don't have to cry anymore. Everything's okay, he said strongly.   
  
Max . . . Max said a different voice this time. Max looked around, still in Logan's arms, searching for the voice.  
  
She looked up at him but the life and passion in his eyes was gone and replaced with a dull, dead look of pain. she screamed in horror as she looked at her hand to see blood. She look down at his stomach and saw the gaping wound. she screamed. Don't die on me again . . . not again. No! she cried out.  
  
Max! Max! came Alec's voice, but he was no where to be found as Max was flooded by the darkness of her dream that had turned into her worst nightmare.  
  
Max continued to cry. Not again, she whispered through the stream of tears. Not again.  
  
Alec smoothed back Max's hair, waiting for her to wake up, knowing that it was a horrible dream that was causing Max to cry out in her sleep. It had happened so many times before and each time it happened he could feel his guilt grow more and more.  
  
Max's eyes slowly fluttered open, to see that the arms she was in was not Logan's but Alec's. She closed them again and let him rock her back and forth, comforting her the only way he knew how.  
  
You killed him . . . she whispered.  
  
As if hit in the gut Alec lost all breath. He wasn't sure if Max was talking to him or herself, but it didn't matter. He knew he was responsible for Logan's death. He knew he was responsible for Max's pain.  
  
I'm sorry, he whispered quietly. closing his eyes as he held Max, waiting for the terror to pass.

. . .


End file.
